Day: June 22, 2008

Ewan leaned back against the steps and stared up at the clouds as they whipped by at an unusually high speed. Not the stately progress of white, fresh, cotton puff clouds, but more the barreling by of hard, grey, steel wool clouds that almost always heralded rain.

He took a long drag on his cigarette, savouring the acrid sweetness of the smoke; it was giving him everything that he had expected and needed of it. The night had been long and filled with circular internal discussions about his situation and the choices that he had made, but now in the dim morning light, looking up into the foreboding sky and down into the sleepy valley below he finally felt a moment’s peace.

There was nothing he could do to change the situation, there was going to be no way to resolve it himself. All he could do was take his hand off the brake and freewheel down the hill towards his destiny; let the chips fall where they may. She would either come to love him, or she would not but one thing was clear; it was not his to control.

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You can see the original post on Ficlets.com by clicking here.

I have not been sleeping, and Sara has been asking me why. I lie awake at night, just looking at her trying to work out how she can still sleep next to me after what I did to her. And then I get out of bed and I go to make coffee and I try to tell myself that if she can forgive me then maybe I should too.

When she finally woke up we learned the truth. Her doctors were not able to explain it, but something had happened in the crash and even though there was no visible trauma Sara woke up blind. She was only in hospital for a week in the end, but Louise came and stayed with us for a month after she was released. I still had to work and Sara needed to have someone around.

So in the middle of the night, while I am drinking my coffee and wishing I could smoke, what I am really doing is looking for any tiny way for me to escape the guilt that I feel for her blindness. I know that she would be angry with me if she knew what I was doing, but she would be angrier if she knew I was lying to her about my insomnia.

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You can see the original post on Ficlets.com by clicking here.

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This Ficlet was written on the day, but posted to this blog at a later date, due to time pressures – if you don’t believe me check on Ficlets.com by clicking on the link above.