Oh my God! This is soooooooo cute!
Author: Maleghast (Page 22 of 38)
…which is a musical partnership between a friend of mine, Tess, and someone that I don’t know (at least to my knowledge) who is known as JS Tolar on Alone Tone. Their band is Casting Red
Check out their latest work:
Watch this space, there should be an album from them later this year…
Well, at the moment I am not in the UK, and for the first time in my memory I am completely torn about the fact that I am not __in__ my country in the aftermath of this General Election; often in the past I would rather have been out of the country in these circumstances. In 1997 I was unhappy, in 2002 I was still unhappy and even in 2005 I was deeply unhappy; now I am completely depressed. Ever since I have paid attention to party politics in the UK I have believed staunchly in two things; that I am a Liberal and that the electoral system in the UK is simply unfair. As I write this my party of choice is currently confirmed to have received 22.9% of the popular vote which would equate to 148 seats rounded down in the current count of 650 seats in the Commons. How is that fair? Nearly one quarter of my fellow Britons agree with me, that the Liberal Democrats represent our feelings about economic, social, domestic and international policy and yet less that one tenth of the UK population will be represented by a Liberal politician.
This is not fair, and while I realise that I run the risk of sounding like a four year old who has been denied an ice cream, I nonetheless want to say that it is not willful or unreasonable to want my democracy to __actually__ represent me and my beliefs and politics.
…but life here is so relaxed and slow that I’ve not really got around to it.
Still, in the meantime, here is a taste of the early morning in Girne:
Your UK General Election quiz results
Take the Who Should You Vote For? UK General Election quiz
| Liberal Democrat |  |
62 | ||
| Green | |
59 | ||
| Labour | -9 |  |
||
| Conservative | -17 | |
||
| UK Independence | -32 | |
Your recommendation: Liberal Democrat
Click here to take the quiz
If you are, then why not try cycling in Central London..?
I’m still alive despite the best efforts of one hare-brained driver who decided to not check their blindspot when pulling out into traffic. Said driver not only exclaimed with shock that they had not seen me, but also that they had not noticed that I’d hit them! Still no injuries and the bike is once again unscathed; thank heavens for taking it all very seriously (i.e. being vigilant and defensive at all times) AND for having good brakes!
“A fantasy is a situation imagined by an individual or group that has no basis in reality but expresses certain desires or aims on the part of its creator. Fantasies typically involve situations which are impossible (such as the existence of magic powers) or highly unlikely. Fantasies can also be sexual in nature. Another, more basic meaning of fantasy is something which is not real, or cannot be real.”
Much of my life has been lived chasing this elusive lie that we call fantasy, and I am starting to think that I want my money back…
The thing is that while I can see that I have done this, that I still do this, and more to the point while I see that dreams of “what may come” are intrinsic to the human experience, the root of human achievement and the tranquiliser we all need in the face of the harsher, less appealing realities of our lives I am of the opinion that I need to find a way to see truth as more tangible than the lie.
If I may borrow from myth, I need to find my mirrored shield in which I can regard the harmless reflection of my mind’s yearnings and creations; do I not risk being petrified, locked in an endless torpor of my own stone dreaming if I continue to stare directly into the face of this Medusa’s gaze of fantasy that is stalking my waking world.
Or is there another way to see this?
Are not my friends’ and family’s lives filled with fantasy made flesh through the real application of their various will; can I not leverage the power of belief, in myself, in my worth to carve my world into the image that I long for it to hold?
We all want certain things to be true for us… We all need to feel love, both to give it to others and to feel the warm tide of its return. We all need to feel as though we have marked the World in our own small way; perhaps in ways larger than even our most grandiose ambitions. We all need to grasp the small joy of the little things and yet not miss the chance for more durable joy when it comes within our reach.
Is fantasy the spur we need to rise above comfort, to transcend the quotidien and be all that we can be?
I suppose that fantasy, like any stimulant, is really only safe in moderation. Like anything that is so subtly and yet so lethally double-edged, it is all too easy to simply enjoy it for its own sake, rather than use it for a purpose.
How do I embrace the realities that I need to understand are unassailable in order to protect myself from the insane belief that anything that I want can be attained? How can I make absolutely certain that I do live up to those things which I am truly able to achieve?
What is my fantasy, you may ask? I hope that they are not too much to ask for… I suppose that more than anything else I need to find out if the people who are not blinded by the lustre of their jewels can tell me truly whether or not I can hope genuinely to capture my heart’s desires.
Foremost amongst my dreams is to be loved by someone that I love. It would be completely fair to say that I have experienced this already; perhaps it is greedy to want to have more than I have been allotted, unseemly to not value the love I have given and received already in my life? Very few people truly find a lasting love that shapes and protects the greater portion of their lives. Marriages fail, partnerships fall apart, lovers fall out of love or simply lose their way; do I have a right to hope for something that eludes so many? More to the point is this kind of love, that I want to believe exists, actually a myth? I’m not sure that it is real, but the example of others, people that I am close to, suggests that it might be… Can I lash my hopes to that raft? Will it float when the reign of love washes over me? Will that flood ever come again? It sounds oh so melodramatic to wonder, but what those who either have it or do not need it do seem to forget is how keenly the pain of its lack cuts into my heart like a sharp sliver of ice.
And then there is my other great wish; to create something, anything that will transcend my life and my circle and stand the test of time, long after I am gone from this world. Is it so unreasonable to hope that I could, perhaps, take a piece of my soul and fashion it into a form that a stranger might take into their own heart? What is all this sweet work worth if no one ever hears the cries of my being, if no one can know me from my words, my work, my song alone?
At times these fantasies seem humble, attainable, even inconsequential; even more they seem unoriginal, and yet they lose none of their power in those moments when I remember that almost everyone who has, does, or will live wants the same or very similar things.
Yet tonight these dreams seem grasping, ungrateful and distant; as though the blessings of my life should not only be enough but might also be in jeopardy if I continue to swallow the lie that is woven by my darker half, my unconscious, my pride…
So I ask you, be you stranger or closest friend, must I embrace reality in all its harsh and painful rigour? Is the better course to always chase the end of my own personal rainbow, or is there another way? Can I find a glass through which I can gaze on the middle road and find a footing that will lead me safely to my own Jerusalem among these dark and foreboding apparitions of what might be?
Will I ever be able to look into someone else’s eyes and tell them this:
"And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong here"
or will I forever only know this instead:
"I never thought you could leave me, I figured I was the one
but I understand your sadness so I guess I should just hold my tongue"
While we are at it (by way of an explanation for the quotations):
"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"
Seriously; this inquiring mind really wants to know… Feel free to guess if you must, ok?
Chiara took this picture of Morgan and I at Knebworth on Saturday – I felt that it needed to be shared further and wider 😉
