365 Ficlets – #164 ~ “Crunch Time”

“Have you thought about internet dating? I mean everyone’s doing it now, you know.”

I would have had a lot more respect for my best friend if she had delivered this winning strategy idea with a modicum of conviction. We both knew what she was thinking; “He could always put a picture from 2006 up, from before he put the weight back on, and then dress to best advantage…”

Now to her credit the other half of this thought is the much kinder “because if they get to know him they’ll make allowances”, which means at least she had faith in the amount of ‘smart and funny’ I could bring to the table, with perhaps a side-order of ‘doing okay for money’ if need be.

I looked at her, with a look that says ‘Bitch please!’. I could not control the muscles of my face. Hey that’s my story and I am sticking to it.

“OK, bad idea.”

“You think? Hell Linz, anyone not put off by the girth issue stands to be so toxic from previous damage… There’s nothing for it; the soup diet and spinning three times a week; it’s time for kill or cure!”

This does not yet appear on ficlets.com due to a technical problem with that site and its OpenID login, i.e. I can’t get on the site, logged in.

Normally on Mondays I try to write a Ficlet inspired by the front page of the English Language Wikipedia Site, but there was nothing all that inspired today, so I present this instead…